Smoothbum To Sign In Days
The war of attrition has, as we speak, been won. Quite who by remains to be seen.
The deal between Zenit St Petersburg and THFC has reached some class of conclusion and the player heralded as Pointy Shouty Bloke's replacement is on his way to The Lane.
Zenit were adamant that he was worth €25 million and Spurs were convinced he wasn't. Quite where they met is anyones's guess. My hope is it was nearer what the man with a first from Cambridge had in mind originally, rather than the thought of either Benty or Johnny Two Saints getting injured forcing his hand to a fuller figure.
This deal may yet collapse. For reasons well documented before this piece. The devil has been in the detail and if ever there was a precedent set for transfer tomfoolery then it was this one.
I have to admit a slight sense of sowhatness about this transfer. Don't get me wrong, he may well still cause the havoc required but as an effective replacement for both Bob & Berba it is, to quote that hairless Hogmanay Herbert off Sky Sports, 'a big ask.'
There's no doubt that Tottenham suddenly have a real array of creativity across the park. Suddenly so many proven providers. The doom mongering Bulgarian's form dipped and he looked for someone to blame. As per his insular wants I am convinced he looked to himself first and longest. (The pondering artiste in him would have curiously enjoyed that.) And then didn't have to look much farther. The squad of last season was full of people who didn't quite service him. Didn't quite do him justice.
Apart from Bob, of course.
And if if there was ever a key to this three lock box then the departure of that prize fight knacker was it. Keane's agenda was straightforward as that of a suicide bomber. And as a result, equally impossible to guard against. Bob acted alone, focused and probably motivated by little more than a desire to die for something... money, fame or the conclusion of a row he had with someone who dared to substitute him.
Keane going made things much much easier for the troubled Mitka. The springboard for all his own indulgencies, flights of fantasy, call them what you will was handed to him. Bob's bunk to Barryland is the justification he can use to cloak his own naked ambition.
The irony will not be lost on Berbatov that now Wendy has rearranged the entire team to accommodate both coherant defending and attacking... the tortured artist is doing the off.
But now he won't want to dwell on that too much. Afterall, the boy has much dwelling to do and little time in which to do it. As his team mates were shrieking and making merry after the Carling Cup win, Berbatov's interpretation of a random urine test in an antichamber at Wembley was that this somehow emphasised his isolation. Not for him the simple joys that the other labourers enjoyed. His destiny was detachment.
You or I would have served them their glass of widdle as fast as and got back to the party. Our hero was soul searching.
Quite how this fuzz of melancholia will cope with Shrek bawling 'Get yer fooking foot round the c*nting thing yer fooking half dead c*nt yer' is anyone's guess.
Berbatov is in for one hell of a culture shock. His moping won't be tolerated in the 'can do culture' of Old Trafford where he will be expected by his colleagues and a capacity crowd to excell immeadiately and consistently if he is to survive.
The consequences?
The old alice band won't have much to do if he goes from Squirrel Nutkins to Terry Nutkin.
David Bentley was spotted in Ikea Croydon buying a 50p hotdog and told an onlooker he is due to sign for Tottenham this Friday.
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Premier League 2008/2009
Andrei Arshavin
Tottenham
Im not so sure Arshavin is the right answer to the squad at the moment. We could currently chalenge Cheski in a who´s got the most midfielders´top trump type competition.
We need a point Man. Bent is looking at getting there, but remains to be shown in the league. Proof is in the Pudding as they say.
To be honest I couldnt see Bob the Knob fitting into this new formation. And with Wantaway mitka, its looking more like clever business. Hopefully we get that cut throat centre forward before Friday. Arshavin should not be the last man in.
Great news on 'smoothbum' HH. Really think that lad will do well in the premiership. So are you saying that the Berba off to Manure is correct then? This story originated from the Daily Mail and whereas they write a story moving every possible to every possible team, all the tabloids seem to have picked up on this one. If true it just shows the Henry bid was as we all thought another transparent Fergie mind game to unsettle Vlad Tepes from our rank.
Do you have word from the inside regarding berba's departure then HH?
(great read as always - thanks!)
Well if he signs that is good. Another threat is what's needed.
My concern is not so much Corluka (will he won't he) but Veloso. He plays in the position where we have been weak for so long and if he was to sit in front of the back 3 (or 4) we would be strong at the back, craetive in the middle and moderate up front. Any news?
Reply to Sid Trotter:
Well if he signs that is good. Another threat is what's needed.
My concern is not so much Corluka (will he won't he) but Veloso. He plays in the position where we have been weak for so long and if he was to sit in front of the back 3 (or 4) we would be strong at the back, craetive in...
agreed 
I would like to see Arshavin and Corluka before the Boro game. HH I showed Marcos Alvarez a new home property yetserday and tried tapping him for Berba news or Arshavin news but I couldn't understand his response. He kept saying I cannot say in a heavily foreign accent.
Great article as always HH. As for the bit in bold at the bottom I think that Bentley has already come to Spurs. I think I'm right seeing as I distinctly remember him celebrating quite emphatically infront of me during the Roma game. But hey I could be delusional!
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Harry, you amaze me - such prose.
He'll be missed and I'm not convince that Arsh is an / the answer. I think we need someone more robust or we could look like Ardilles 11 mark2.
ITK Ben says no deal done yet but hopefully tonight.
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Anyone else like me and cant wait for this transfer window to close? Ramos & Levy have done a fantastic job so far, but the constant when's this gonna happen, when's he gonna leave, hurry up and sign so and so, the scouring every news story on the web, using web translation services to see if a foreign website gives more info is totally doing my head.
Shut that door Everard.
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Anyway, back to the womens beach volleyball in HD.