Afternoon all.

I'll start with the news that Darren Purse has had his red card overturned, like a master pancake flipper overturns pancakes and then sprinkles lemon and sugar over the top. Mmmmm; successful tasty red card appeals. Justice is best served sugary.

This is of course excellent news and means that Purse will be available to play against Crystal Palace on the weekend.

Less excellent news comes in the form of DJ facing a 'rap' from the FA for the remarks he made about referee Lee Probert on the weekend. Presumably said 'rap' will be administered a la Dizzee Rascal and will be remixed by Mark Ronson with some wank trumpets over the top.

In other news Ross McCormack has been called up to the Scotland squad to face Argentina and is likely to earn his second cap for the side. This is good news for the player, obviously, who doesn't like earning caps for the country? I know I do. However, I feel that should he get in injured in such a meaningless game in which if Scotland were to win it would be a bigger upset than Andy Murray losing a game of tennis to a four year old with no arms, the news for Cardiff will not be good at all. In fact quite the opposite even.

Last of all, Johnny Metgod has got the Portsmouth assistant manager job meaning there'll be no move Pompeywards for our Terry Burton. You have to feel for Terry slightly, nobody likes losing out on a possible job to a man who looks like he has drawn on hair do they?

Anyhow, that's all for the day

Good day

The main news today is that DJ is going to appeal against Purse's red card from Saturday despite whilst stating his dislike of officials after the QPR game saying:

Also revealing his fondness for the Geordie entertainers in the process. Hopefully there will be a repeat of last year when the FAW reversed Purse's red card at the end of last season, although I'd say there's a 50/50 chance of the FA going either way.

Hopefully we'll win the appeal Blue Peter style-y and not only will Purse, who has been consistently solid at the back, be available for the next few games, but we'll save some poor kids in Africa in the process.

Although probably not.

There are reports that Portsmouth boss Tony Adams is looking to recruit our assistant manager Terry Burton to his coaching staff. If I'm being honest I know very little about Burton's qualities except his Football Manager 2008 stats, and they're crap. Still I'm sure one should not assess a vital member of coaching staff purely on their stats in a virtual game and that losing Terry would not be preferable at all. Still his FM 08 stats were fuckin shite.

Other Cardiff related news (almost) and Jamie Oliver is setting up a restaurant in Cardiff. Hopefully he'll change his mind about the location (St Davids Arcade) and instead use his gourmet cooking skills to liven up the grounds' burger stalls' menus. Hot dogs for £2.50? Piss off. I expect at least a well seasoned beef casserole with a few Yorkshire puddings for that price. Perhaps Jamie could be the man to realise my dream...

That's all for the day, so until I see you again;

Good day

Ah.

It appears that I have managed to omit making a blog on Cardiff for almost the entire month of October, a month in which we went unbeaten and played some of the best football since Pelé's mum decided that she'd quite like a footballing genius for a son and subsequently gave birth to Gary Doherty by accident, but later made up for that by also birthing Pelé himself.

A month in which our results were so good that DJ won a gong for being excellent at managing. Presumably one of those massive Asian ones which he will use to signal his presence when he enters a room from now on.

A month in which Ross McCormack scored more goals than there are members in the Three Musketeers. Four.

A month in which we went third in the table and set the Coca Cola Championship play off places alight.

Sadly November has come like an icy bastard who gate crashes a 4 year old's birthday party, deflates the bouncy castle, blows out all of the birthday candles and then shits in the cake, rather much ruining the taste for everyone.

First Paul Parry, Jay Bothroyd, Peter Whittingham and Eddie Johnson all went down with the flu and then we lose to Wolves 2-1 at home and both Ross McScoremack (as he shall now cringeworthily be known) and Jay Bothroyd both limp off like someone wearing a gigantic orthopaedic shoe on only one foot whilst trying to do ballet. 

And now our first home loss of the season:

I put it down to a case of wank refereeing, as does DJ, and even caretaker QPR boss Gareth Ainsworth agrees. Purse got sent off for what was essentially a yellow card offence, Commingues got a second yellow for conversing with the linesman and when Damion Stewart felled Michael Chopra like a blind lumberjack accidentally pole axing a postman instead of a troublesome tree in the penalty area, he didn't bat an eyelid. 

However these things happen and even after those two loses we are still in the play off places which is nice.

On to Chopra now and the dramatic events which lead to his joining us for two months;

First DJ put out a loan advert like a shop looking for a paperboy, and Ricardo Vaz Te of Bolton looked to answer said advert, but his paper carrying bag was too small and he couldnt fit all of the Sunday suppplements inside and kept stealing copies of the Daily Star. Then the hero of two seasons ago, Michael Chopra made his triumphant return to the club and there's talk that this loan deal could be permanent, which would definitely be a welcomed suprise, much like assuming that all your going to have for dinner are some crap sausages but instead find that Ainsley Harriot has cooked you a gourmet meal. And done the dishes.

Chops (as he'll never again be called) says that he thinks that DJ 'is a wizard', much like Gandalf, at finding strikers.

That's about all for now.

I know I said in the last blog I did that I'd try and make these more frequent but I really haven't had the time recently, much like how Poirot doesn't have the time to play backgammon because he's too busy solving murders and calling Hastings a tit. But the gap between my blogs of late has been ridiculous. It shan't happen again, I promise. 

Good day.

I'm aware that I've missed several key (sort of) fixtures due to my laptop imploding/general lazyness, so like a husband whos forgotten his wife's birthday for the fifth time in a row tries to make up for this mistake by giving her a list of all the things he could've given her as presents written on a dishcloth, I'm going to review most of these games in text format as if they had just happend. *Cue loud gasp. Or something*

16 Sept Barnsley 0 - 1 Cardiff City

A good result by all acounts and only our second win of the season, having previously drawn around 615 games in a row prior to this result. More wins like this please!

20 Sept Derby County 1 - 1 Cardiff City

Ah. Well. To be fair Derby are one of the better teams in the league and a draw away from home is a good result. And at least we still have our 100% unbeaten record so far this season...

23 Sept Swansea City 1 - 0 Cardiff City

Fuck. Our unbeaten record ruined by the team we least wanted to lose too. At least it was only in the League Cup, which allows are players not to be tired out any longer by a fruitless crap cup competition. And our 100% league unbeaten record is still intact...

27 Sept Cardiff City 1 - 2 Arsenal Rejects XI Birmingham City

Oh come on! Our progression over the last two weeks has been on a steady decline. Much like 'Hole in the Wall's' watch-a-bility. Although to be fair, Quincy Owusu-Abeyie was one of Birmingham's scorers and he has one of football's coolest ever names.

*Back to present day probably to the sound of some chimes being played or something equally effective in representing time elapsion*

Hooray! Our downward spiral has been quelled like a man with extreme constipation relieving his bowels after 5 months, but in a far more pleasant way. Once again Ross McCormack was excellent and his now scored his 7th of the season. But man of the match probably has to go to Jay Bothroyd who opened his account for us. Whether that account gets hit by the recession only time will tell.

Speaking of Bothroyd's scoring Dave Jones says:

"Before he was (shooting) outside the posts rather than inside them so we'll keep working on that."

Which is almost definitely a candidate the Least-Insightful-Reason-For-A-Striker-Not-Scoring-Of-The-Year™ award.

He then comments in this article (which is rather interesting and also about how he feels we should be playing better. Read it, unless your busy/tired/can't be bothered/hate Dave Jones) that the key to consistency is:

“Putting the ball in the back of the net.”

He really is a tactical wordsmith that Dave Jones.

To be fair to Coventry, it could easily have been a draw and Freddy Eastwood has a goal that I'm going to biasedly say was legitimately disallowed, but if were a Coventry fan, I'd have been livid. Probably.

Peter Ridsdale had a Q & A of sorts with some fans that can be seen here. He talks about the stadium share with the Cardiff Blues, Dave Jones' lack of signings and most interestingly his own future:

"I am not at this club hanging about for the sake of it. If somebody walks into this football club to take it over and I think it’s right, I’d walk out tomorrow morning."

Christy. He's hardly conspicuous with his wanting to sell the club. He might as well walk around with a sandwich board whilst handing out flyers about what a good buy Cardiff would be. Personally I can't stand the prick, but at least he's no Sam Hammam. Touch wood. Mahogany wood as you ask.

Jay Bothroyd says Cardiff are the Arsenal of the Championship which is like saying Shane Richie is the Marlon Brando of shitty soap operas.

Almost-Certainly-Fictitious-Transfer-Rumour-Of-The-Week™(New feature! Aren't you impressed? No. Oh) now with some toss about Joe Ledley going to Tottenham for £8million. 

Team news ahead of today's away game with Blackpool can be found here.

That's about all.

Sorry for my abscence.

Please forgive me.

And Good day.

Gah.

Yet another game, yet another draw for the Bluebirds, and whilst we are still technically unbeaten in the Championship, one win in five games is pretty shite.

I'm going to be honest in saying that I didn't see the game, but from what I heard it was an annoyingly tight affair, which isn't that much of a suprise is Bristol City are now annoyingly even in terms of quality with us.

What does suprise me was Dave Jones' decision to put Ross McCormack on the bench and start Paul Parry whos had a pretty crap week what with all the not-being-picked-for-Wales-throwing-a-hissy-fit-and-internationally-'retiring'-ness thats been going on with him. It's like asking Laurence Llewellyn Bowen to redecorate your house after he's demolished his own following him having a verbal disagreement with a display cushion. Especially when Handy Andy, in this case Ross McCormack, is on hand and will deliver a superior job and has an infinitely better name.

Speaking of Paul Parry, Dave Jones & John Toshack reportedly had a 'verbal arguement' that DJ plays down here. I have no idea what the two were argueing about as neither have control over the Parry affair, so let's presume it was over which Fleetwood Mac album was best. Most say Rumours but I happen to prefer Tusk.

Joe Ledley says he's 'fully concentrated on Cardiff' which is what players usually say when their proposed transfers fall through, but I like Joe so I'm prepared to believe him. Although to be fair, if Joe told me he hadn't ruined my carpet even after I just witnessed him rip it to shreads with a Black-and-Decker power sander, I'd believe him, I'm a fairly trusting fellow you see. Speaking on the Bristol City game he says:

“Against Bristol, we knew it was going to be a tough derby game, and we went out there and did all we wanted to do, apart from score."

Scoring, I'd presume, is right at the top of the list footballers want to do in games. It's a bit like buying the ingredients for a nice curry dish but then neglecting to acquire any means of cooking said dish. Not even a microwave.

Bad news I'm afraid, Robbie Fowler has joined Blackburn instead of being mauled by a large combine harvester. 

"It's pay-as-you-play so if I score loads of goals perhaps I'll be classed as a bargain."

He says, conveniently forgetting that he managed to score shit all goals in the Championship last year, so the chance of him scoring loads of goals in a superior league is on par with the chance of Garry Glitter getting a job at a primary school.

"There's no goal bonus unfortunately, I wish there was."

He continues. I know how you feel Robbie. I wish you'd be placed in a bag lined with shards of pointy glass and rolled down a steep bumpy hill, but unfortunately that's not happening either.

Sad news, and Jimmy Floyd 'Cashinbank' has decided to retire from football. Whilst I voiced my opposition to his staying, it's always a shame to lose a legend of the game such as himself, and especially in the acrimonious way in which it had to happen.

That's really it for the last few days, I know I should've done this blog several days ago, but shhhh, I've done this one craftily so nobody noticed.

I'm like the Pink Panther.

Or something.

Probably.

Good day.

Was'gwan as they say.

The main news of late has been surrounding Paul Parry's decision to retire from international football after being left on the bench in Wales' game against Azerbaijan on Saturday, despite him being in the starting team to face Russia today. 

As much as I like Paul, and I do, a bit, he's acted like a complete berke here. You do hear of players 'retiring' from international football for understandable reasons such as mangerial disputes where the coach and player fall out, but as far as I'm aware, Toshack has done nothing of the sort. Perhaps Paul should consider that Toshack was resting him ahead of the Russia game as Azerbaijan are far weaker opponents. His reason for 'retiring' is petty and, quite frankly, shit in my opinion.

For a player, representing your national team should be your proudest achievement, and why Paul's backing down because he didn't face a crap European national team is a reason best known to himself.

It's like a swiss-roll maker, who happens to be one of the best swiss-roll makers around, deciding to quit swiss-roll making as his manager has decided not to use him in the junior under 12s swiss-roll face-off versus Bulgaria (who happen to be crap at swiss-roll making) so as to make sure said swiss-roll maker is fresh and ready to face reigning world champs Switzerland (who should be very good at swiss-roll making you'd imagine).

Perhaps the reason he's revoked this privilege is because he's concerned that getting injured in an international game which he doesn't (to my knowledge) get paid for and his reasoning is monetary.

Or perhaps it's just that he's a fuckwit. Ah well.

Stephen McPhail 'defends' Parry's decision by repeating "I don't know" to every question and then mumbling in an incoherent Irish accent. In case your having difficulty deciphering Steve's words, here's an easy-to-understand accurate representation:

Anyhow, we have been linked with one of the players that played ahead of Parry against Azerbaijan, Man City's Ched Evans, whom we'd been linked with before but now, thanks to City's newfound Arab billions looks set to be forced out of the side. Mehopes for a deal as he would be quality for us, although sadly, medoubts that he'll come.

Darren Purse says that he hopes for an extended contract with the club. Darren has a crisis of confidence when he says:

"All I can do is just go out and play football"

That's not true Dazza! There are other vocations in life which I bet your aptly suited too! I'm sure your probably excellent at making cakes? Or maybe have a special talent such as syringe juggling? And if the worst comes to worst, I'm sure if you packed the football in, you could get a job as bald head-painting model at school fairs. Or something.

Sadly, Robbie Fowler looks like he might actually play for someone next year, after agreeing a contract with Blackburn. The bastard.

Speaking of bastardly-ness, we (Wales) lost to Russia 2-1 earlier and it was bastardly. Gareth Bale missed a penalty crappily but then, less crappily, set up our own Joe Ledley for the equaliser after we'd fallen behind to Russia managing to convert a penalty. Then Russia scored again. And then they won. Curses.

Apologies on the lack of activity recently, there has just been no news with which to adequately fill a blog on a daily basis. Due to said lack of news, I'm considering maybe just doing the blog once or twice a week due.

You regularly hear of Arsenal/Chelsea/Barca fans who run blogs who bemoan a lack of team news for their, and these are huge clubs known all around the world, and when you consider that we're a (quite, although not that) small side from South Wales who compete in the second tier of English football who none of the media isn't particularly interested in at all (bar the South Wales Echo, which has nothing else to talk about), you will appreciate the tiny amount of news I have to work with. Hopefully.

Anyhow, this may be a (at least) once (or perhaps twice) a week blog from now on, or maybe just whenever I gather enough information with which to formulate a half decent blog. Or maybe (probably) nobody will care and my blog/time issue will be futile and useless.

Hopefully not.

That's all the news

*Sigh*

That sigh inside stars signifies miniscule amounts of Cardiff City news today, so small in fact that I've been forced to scrabble round for it the dirt with a massive fuck off magnifying glass. Both literal and metaphorical dirt (I saw a copy of the South Wales Echo in a puddle) and found just three pieces of (almost) interesting news.

The first was Aleksei Smertin's reasoning for refusing to join us:

“Even if I’d had time to look at the details of the move, and I was only given these at the last minute, I would still have refused.

The idea of spending the season in the Championship doesn’t interest me at all."

Which is all fair enough for a football who wants to continue play at the highest level you'd suppose, until he carries on his reasoning:

“Speaking about my career, I look positively into my future. It is likely that I will continue my career in the Russian championship.”

Honestly, he thinks the Russian Championship is a step up from the Championship?! CSKA Moscow and Zenit St Petersburg aside, choosing to play in the Russian Championship is the equivalent of Tim Henman choosing to end his career by playing against people who have glued their hands to their feet and are also allergic to tennis racquets.

Racquet based sports aside, the second piece of news comes in the form of our new stadium, which is making 'pleasing' progress, despite the original seating capacity number dropping from 30,000 to 25,000 and still only being half done. I've seen it and it looks like an unfinished building site rather than looking like anything actually impressive. Much like Butlins really.

The last news comes in the form of Gavin Rae's leg 'knitting' back together and his able-ness to train. Which is nice. Although I'm sure 'knitting' isn't the techincal word, just one which DJ bands about as if he were in a textiles club.

International weekend means no game for us tomorrow, however there's still the annoying possibility that our squad will be reduced further by injury in games of no use to us.

Anyhow, let's all hope for a Welsh win tomorrow in the annual Wales-Azerbaijan fixture, a game which seems to be played more times than that annoying song, with the "they call me Stacey, that's not my name" lyric, gets played on the radio. You know the one. Let me just google who it's by.

The 'Ting Tings' apparently.

Anyhow, it's shit.

That's about all for today,

Good day to you all.

The news today surrounds our talismanic midfielder, Joe Ledley, who as we all (might probably) know, was the subject of a £6 million bid from Stoke on the last day of the transfer window. When City rejected said bid, Joe was reportedly so angry at being denied a chance to play for mighty Stoke that he sought out people on the verge of a mental breakdown and shouted harsh words at them to tip them over the edge. Probably.

"That's absolute tosh" I said in my blog yesterday. 'Tosh' in this case means 'untrue' and does not in any way refer to reggae legend and one of the founding members of Bob Marley's group, the Wailers, Pete Tosh, who unfortunately doesn't feature in this post any further than this sentance. 

Anyhow, I may or may not be proven wrong with the two stories which emerged on WalesOnline today.

The first tells of Ledley's ambition to reach the Premiership, which of course is a completely acceptable ambition for any young player to have, but he also speaks of his desire to do so with Cardiff City and is quoted as saying “I’m blue through and through” quoting a lesser known verse from the awful 1999 Eiffel 65 hit "Blue Daba Dee". However, we know that being blue 'through and through' is a skin condition that is commonly found on smurfs and that he should probably get checked out. Come to think of it 'Ledley Smurf' is a name that would fit right in with Dopey and Grouchy.

Anyhow, these kind of pro Cardiff comments would imply that he'd rather stay with City for at least this season and try to achieve promotion rather than have joined Stoke, which is nice.

However, less nicely, in this contrasting article Joe makes "Premiership teams; buy me please" comments so unsubtley you wonder why he hasn't been stood outside Premiership managers' front windows wearing a sandwich board declaring "I'm rate good at football, buy me" and shouting a similar message through a megaphone. He is also quoted on talking about a proposed move Stoke-wards:

Unless he had his head in a washing machine or has a head that defies human nature by spinning, he clearly is fibbing and his head isn't in a spin. 

With all this fibbing going on I'm not sure what to think anymore. I'd hope that Joe manages to achieve his Premiership aim with us, but I'm not sure how long he'll be bothered to stay should we not make the jump very soon.

In other Ledley-related news, Dave Jones reveals Almost Interesting Dave Jones Fact #2!™; he is close friends with Stoke boss Tony Pulis! However, DJ says that Tony P put that friendship in jeopardy when he bid for Ledley, which reminds me of an excellent episode of Hey Arnold, where Arnold and Gerald nearly end their best-friendship over a complicated trading card game. The episode in itself bares almost no relation to the Jones-Pulis story, I just thought I'd let you know the plotline of a particularly excellent episode of Hey Arnold. What a show.

Anyhow, also in the article, DJ reiterates the belief that Joe should stay with Cardiff and fulfil his Premiership desire with his hometown club rather than with those wankers (not my words, Dave said them, I think) Stoke.

There's no other real Cardiff news today, so I bid you all

Good day.

Gah.

The hope of a useful midfielder-y signing went up in smokes on deadline day when Alexi Smertin decided that he'd rather play for no-one than City. Apparently it was an all but done deal with Fulham agreeing to loan him to us and the player even okaying the deal but then ol' Alexi backed out at the last minute after realising that Cardiff wasn't for him. We seem to have that affect on a lot of people. Especially owners of decent Italian restaurants. But that's irrelevant now.

Damn you Tony's pizzas.

Anyhow in other transfer day 'madness' we finally sold transfer listed Stephen Thompson, whom we've been trying to get rid of since 1986, to Burnley. As decent and average as a replacemant striker as he was, I doubt we'll miss him or his crap FA Cup Final songs.

In what was probably the biggest news concerning us, Stoke came in with a bid rumoured to be around £5 to 6 million for Joe Ledley which we promptly rejected. Then some story came out that Ledley was 'disappointed' and 'upset' that we rejected said deal, which I don't believe a word of (well maybe some of the words, but not all of them) as he has repeatedly said, on numerous occasions, that he will not leave City for Premiership no-hopers, as he might be able to achieve this ambition with his beloved Cardiff. Playing for a Premiership no-hoper team that is, but let's not get overly ambitious.

There were other crap rumours like us proposing a loan deal for Aaron Ramsey which has been categorically denied, and us almost purchasing Kris Boyd, whom nobody has cared about for several months.

Still, we have a lack of midfielders and Dave Jones says he will be 'working with Ridsdale to bring in players on loan before the end of the emergency transfer window in a statement near the end of the article that this long different colour sentance is linked to when you click on it' or words to that extent. Which is handy. I wasn't aware of this 'emergency' transfer window and, just like Rubix cubes and people with a thick foreign accents, have great difficulty understanding it. In fact I also have no idea why the window was extended to the 1st of September this year.

In fact, I'm not entirely sure why the powers that be just can't make the transfer window a week long and then we won't have to listen to reports and rumours of tedious drawn out transfer 'sagas' involving serial cunts Cristiano Ronaldo, Dimitar Berbatov, Ronaldinho, Robinho and Robbie Fowler(inho).

Everything would have to be done exceedingly quickly and it'd be like one of those mental Japanese shows where contestants have to answer questions and solve puzzles whilst being shouted at, electrocuted and shot through the air via a cannon simultaneously.

That'd make Sky Sports News more entertaining. Instead of hearing reports of "Dimitar Berbatov is currently still holding out for a move to Manchester United" we'd hear "Berbatov's move to United has been put in doubt after he was found mangled in a bush after trying to solve a Sudoku whilst being catapulted through the air at 167 mph." Now who wouldn't enjoy that?!

Other than himself, his friends and his family. Obviously.

But sadly, this unlikely to happen. Still there's always hope...

Good day.

"Hmmmm"

...Is what I make of yesterdays scoreline.

On the one hand, it was an away game to one of the best teams in the division who were only last year in the Premiership and we kept a clean sheet, but on the other hand it was a goalless draw, and people are rarely entertained by those. Unless of course they are the type of people who derive entertainment from watching people ironing dishcloths and the Jeremy Kyle show. In which case, said people may have found the game exciting. To the max.

Enough about exhilarating activities. The point is, as is the case with almost every football fan in the world, I prefer winning, winning is fun, and we could've done so if new boy Bothroyd hadn't missed an incredibly easy slot-away-able chance. Bad times.

But credit must go to our defenders who, since Loovens left, were predicted to go to the shitters (ahem, perhaps by myself, but shhh, that's irrelevant now. Sort of) and Dave Jones echoes this sentiment here. Praise must especially go to Darren Purse, who despite being out of the team for nigh on 7 years or thereabouts, was excellent.

Speaking in afformentioned article, Dave Jones pulls another foolish soundbite out the bag:

Such a statement would be true and relevant if he were say, discussing World War I, as in such a case it wasn't just about playing football, they did sometimes needed a battling side. However, when discussing a team playing the sport of football, it is all about playing football. 

Due to their abundance, I've decided to make Dave Jones soundbites a (sometimes) regular feature, mainly because I rarely use my other crap features and there is a possibility that I might actually use this one and also because I like making features. I've decided to call it 'You Must Be Jo(nes)king!™' What do you mean it sounds shit?!? Fair enough, good point I suppose. I'm still calling it that though.

Anyhow, there was drama yesterday, or the day before, I can't remember exactly, when it emerged that bids estimated at £5million and £4million were rejected for Joe Ledley and Roger Johnson respectively. Speaking of the bids, chairman Peter Ridsdale says:

"The key factor is that our manager, Dave Jones, wants to keep this squad together and believes we will challenge for promotion.

"The Board decision was to back the manager 100 per cent. Our stance on offers for key players remains unchanged. None of them will be sold ... at any price."

Most Championship clubs' boards would jump at the chance of £9 million for two of their players, regardless of their quality. You have to say, for a chairman to turn them down, is very commendable, unless of course you remember that Peter Ridsdale is a massive cock, in which case, you shouldn't commend him. So stop it. Now.

Still, it's nice to know that Glenn will be (hopefully) the last of our useful players to leave this season as usually by now, we've sold off all of our assets of slight quality, from players to those fancy curtains that use to adourn the directors box. Which is nice.

More good transfer news now, and DJ says he's looking to bring in a midfielder before the transfer window closes tomorrow, due to Gavin Rae and Scimeca being sidelined for long periods of time. We still have the mound of cash we recieved for Aaron Ramsey and Loovens, but if DJ makes a shrewd-but-excellent signing instead of the million pound mega-deals most of us are hoping for, then that'll be just as good. I hope.

Extra good transfer news now and in one of the funniest twists of the transfer window so far, it transpires that popular nobhead Robbie Fowler tried to come crawling back to us after his move to Blackburn hilariously collapsed. The response was a 'polite' "fuck off you massive money grabbing shitstick", probably (hopefully). Honestly, the cheek of the man. Let's all hope that he ends up playing in the Conference South, spills tea over his rare vinyl collection and misses the entire series of his favourite show 'Cunts Weekly' due to his Sky+ box malfunctioning.

Anyhow, let's hope that's the last we hear of him. 

We've been drawn against those 'jack bastards' Spainsea in the Carling Cup, which would be as big a match as the media are making out, if it wasn't for the fact that we now play in the same division and will already play them twice this year. Also for the fact that the Carling Cup means as much as boasting about having a packet of Salt and Vinegar crisps to someone whilst in the Walkers factory on 'free Salt and Vinegar Crisps' day.

Enough about savoury snacks, we are nearing the end of the blog, so here's to the signing of a world class midfielder tomorrow.

Or at least a quite good one.

Anyone really.

Except Lee Bowyer.

He's a twat.

Good day.